There are a number of factors that affect how couples view the choice to purchase a home.
Buying a home is an act of permanence. And in today’s society of ‘impermanence’, placing roots can seem not only anti-intuitive, but also limiting, or constrictive in an era of seemingly endless expansion and growth necessitated for professional development. (think ever changing job work-place locations, having to swivel and shift in a growing gig economy, etc.) We work in a free market system where temporary positions are becoming the norm and businesses and corporations are more frequently contracting with independent workers for short(er) term employment engagements. Think freelance, independent contractors and project-based workers.
Many of my clients come in experiencing anxiety and conflict about making a home purchase because of the inherent ‘unknown’ of their professions and future. The narrative is often, “What happens if we make this significant personal and financial commitment and we have to move in a year or two? What will the economy and real estate market be like if we have to sell our home then?”
These (very real) concerns can create anxiety, hesitation and fear during the buying process, and in turn, often create discord between couples, as each individual may view the choice to purchase a home differently. One partner may consider the choice an opportunity for stability, while the other views it as a bad bet against professional growth opportunity.
Exploring these issues with clients and helping them come to an respectful compromise and understanding is part of my work with couples. Creating a safe space in the therapeutic setting to help develop empathy for a partners' viewpoint leads to partners that feel good about their choices without creating a win/ lose power dynamic in the relationship.
Krista Bronisas, MS, LMFT, PC, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Wilmington, North Carolina. She works with individuals and couples navigating relationships and life transitions in order to live more confident, peaceful and successful lives.
Krista Bronisas, MS, LMFT, PC
2018 Eastwood Road
Wilmington, NC 28403
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